i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
