In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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