he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
