That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
