just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
