i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize