sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
