we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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