He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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