i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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