can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
