mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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