On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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