And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
