You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
