he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
