I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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