I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
