She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
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Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize