Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
