I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
