Its about making memories worth repressing
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize