I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
