What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
