Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I am naked and annoyed.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
