I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
