why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
