i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
