I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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