worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
send nudes
from the living room?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
