Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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