sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
