Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
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Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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