i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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