I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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