First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
