So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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