Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
