His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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