I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
