i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
