Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
