It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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