i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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