Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
