eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
