I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
