The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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