I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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