I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
