Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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