you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize