dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
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Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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