Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
