I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
