Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
