If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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