im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
