I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
