I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
