sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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