yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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