I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Randomize
