I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
