i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
