You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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